Moderation!

I just wrote 2/3 of a post and it disappeared. So I'm drinking alone, in moderation! first, maybe a 2nd. Keith's been driving me crazy, I've been so inside my head about the whole thing I could not relax today. Finally gave him a bunch of shit and then came home and drank and now I'm feeling better. Went to the gym w jenn and ev and their personal traininer....which was harder than the stuff I've done at the gym in a while, not harder than spin or the bike though. Tomorrow I'm gonna be sore.
What else? Watching baby momma, it's funny. Emailed SCG unsolicited, but no response in the last hour and a half. whatev's it's so funny to even read that, like that defines anything.

I guy I used to work with emailed me a few weeks ago on facebook, said he was comming to town this week. I said I'd get a group together and we'd go to dinner or drinks. So I emailed him thursdya or friday and asked when he was going to be around. He emailed me today and said he'd be here tomorrow (sunday) and drive up from San Diego if I'm free...I don't want to sleep with him and it could totally turn out to be that expectaion. we're both single...we've been out drininking and being stupid in the past, but he was always humping Marie's leg. I can't get a group together on a Sunday night. I can just flake, not call, not email. But the other thing is I have nothing to do tomorrow night. I'll flake unless theirs a 2nd message. Also have totally flaked on the last online guy. Basically fuck that guy. I don't care.

Apparently I am tina fey...date at the batting cages, first date sex, then romance. I should sue.

stuff

Tets is home! It was great to see him, had some drinks with a group from work then out to dinner w matt nancy and jose. just feel totally normal with him back...a few times especially in the last week I wanted to discuss work stuff with him and he wasn't around. I want to tell him lots of stuff about SCG and everything else, but I guess I didn't really miss him. Which is also good.

Had too much sushi, just enough beer and sake and now home watching Mad Men which I am enjoying regularly. Works OK...went to Spin with a different instructor today which was a good change and gym w jenn and ev in the morning. I apologized to Evelyn this am, she didn't think twice about it, so that's good.

A couple of emails w SCG today, just feel good about where it's at, hopefully it will stay where it's at or move on a bit.

You know...Thursday

I hate teenagers, nothing new, I always have, but now I have to live with one which can fucking suck. I read his myspace messages the other day and there was something between him and one of his friends about smoking cigarettes...so I called him on it and he admitted it and I ordered a bunch of tests off the internet. So today I read his IM log and he's still talking to the same fucking kid about the same shit. So I have to give him the tests tonight and signs say he will fail and I don't want to deal with it. basically I want him to give a fuck about what I think and behave himself. So we'll see. I can hope for the best but I know better.

so much fun back and forth with SCG over the last few days. I told him I can't do the whole bike event and asked if he'd hang out with me for a few days instead...I leave on Sunday and he said yes, so that's nice. lots of little things in the right direction. he is really super cute...and I am super gay.

Dinner w Jenn and Ev and her husband. I said everything possible wrong for Ev and Tim...total ass. I hope they're not fighting right now. I think my weekend pool privledges are revoked.

UPDATE...failed cigarettes, passed pot. wheww...retake in 2 weeks since the test can detect for that long. I feel like an ass for doing it, but had to know. Gave him shit for lying about the phone, did let him know I can read IM's too...which probably would have been best left unsaid but whatever.

I'm going to try and get up early for the gym. Hopefully I'll sleep well.

I should be working

And I am mostly...getting ready for a meeting in a bit, installing some new stuff. It's called multitasking. So mornings with 2 kids in school are a little hectic, I gotta get my shit together the night before, otherwise I'm too grouchy and Little Miss doesn't need that. I haven't worked out since Thursday, Saturday if you count Kayaking...I probably won't make it today either, too much work and Gramma Jan sent Bella $50 that she needs to spend when I get off work.

I still hate online dating. I apparently I've answered the eharmony questions in the white trash category and I am getting all 45 yr old inland empire types with mustaches. Like I said it feels like that's how I view myself. I can't stand it. I did see a cute guy on match, but my profile is so sucky and I have no desire to revisit it. ANYWAY. SCG called yesterday which was a nice surprise, talked about kids/work nothing earth shattering...I called him back after investigating a former coworkers current status, he didn't answer, left a message, he called right back. I am not sure about some of the stuff I said in chat the other night, good move or bad, but my moves are old and dusty so it's all I got.

Post with No Title

I got some lingering stuff done today. Taxes, stuff for the lawyer, it gave me a headache and will cost me about 4k but it's better to be done. I have to decide if I'm gonna ask Krypt to pay 1/2 the taxes or not. I went to the movies with JD to see the Dark Night in Imax and the movie died about 35 min in. I'll never see the end of it. It was a little datish but he's funny so of course he was making it as awkward as possible.

These nights are the toughest...no kids, phone doesn't ring, I really really tried to just sit with it tonight. I made it about an hour without checking the PC...and here I am. I don't know what I want to happen but it feels useless to even name it, it feels like I gotta take my medicine for a while. I am not sure why I feel like that. Even when I want to name SCG or something similar it's feels like I shouldn't ask.

I IM'd for a long time with SCG last night, not at home w wife which was good news, but as I already knew whanting something to grow from what it was a month ago cannot happen by my will alone. So remember I have to chill. I forgot to mention how hideous online dating is...each site is worse than the last it makes me feel like I have no self respect, like I am what the sites are. Right back to how am I supposed to meet someone of quality.

I might get up really early and ride before I take keith to school, I have to be at the lawyer at 10 and it's about an hour away...I might be able to do it after I take him...730 to 815? not sure I gotta leave by 915. Then work, then lather rinse repeat.