Just Because

I think I am posting just because I don't want to see the last few when I log in. Went to dinner with Tets at Shabu and waited a long time, but totally worth it. Nice to be somewhere comfortable with someone comfortable. Didn't talk about any of the other stuff, so that's good. Trying to really fake it then make it, fake letting joy in, fake optimisim, so I can remember what it feels like in the event of something worthy taking place.

Keith and Bella with their dad. Keith txting immediately about his dad taking bella's side. Hard stuff. Tomorrow early Gym, then work, back at it. I can see that I am not making a plan, working a plan to distract me from what's really happening. I think that's good.