I Must Chill

Work has been shitty and crazy lately, I'm busy at home punishing Keith and generally trying to feed the machine...now I am in Austin and I'm supposed to SCG...im'd yesterday and asked if he wanted to meet for lunch or something...said yes...I'm here, called, no answer, vm full, sent txt...I have a terrible condition response to this situation.....waiting for a guy to do what I think should happen in the time frame I think is resonable. I know I am just avoiding rejection and taking myself immediately to WCS but is ruining my energy and my ability to be. be right now.be when the time is right.be.be.be. I am very anxious right now....trying to focus on some work, trying not to cry, thinking of a nap but that might make it worse. I have to make this stop.